One of My Most Horrible Experiences

So, this is what happened yesterday. I have been working with the newest addition to our crew on lunch dishes. She does well with her job and she is always at a fast-pace, no matter what she is doing (ex: eating.) We are doing our thing, working together on the dishes, when the boss comes over with her lunch tray. New girl (she is much older than me as a note) says to her something about, the sink shouldn't get this full, should it? Which I find weird, considering she is the one who is at the sink washing them. Why would you point out something like that? Boss looks at me and says, I wonder who did that and winks at me. Yeah, it was me, I was putting the dishes in the sink, and the sink at that time was about half full, or empty, depending on how you want to look at it. Well, of course I know that this being pointed out has made me look bad so I amp it up a bit and make sure I keep the sink almost empty. Let me take a minute to explain the dishes line. You have 2 people, in this case, me and new girl. There is who puts the dishes from the caddies into the sink (scrapping,) there is who washes the dishes (washer, hmmm) and then there is who goes to the other end and takes the clean dishes off and puts them onto a cart (doffing.) Yes, there are 3 things for 2 people to do. I was shifting between washing and scrapping. I would scrap and if the sink got so full and new girl was on the other end doffing I would start to wash. New girl would wash and go to the other end and take them off when they were ready. That is how we have been doing it and new girl has been there about a month now. So like I said, I sped up a bit with my scrapping and washing so that the sink didn't get very full. After we have finished with dishes, boss says for us to both to come speak with her when we are done with our other things. I wondered and wondered what it could be about. I figured it was something both me and new girl were doing wrong or not good enough or whatever. Into the office, and the boss closes the door. It's always really bad when she closes the door. She looks at us both and says, so what seems to be the problem with the dishes, girls? I wasn't aware of a problem so I just look at her and shrug. New girl doesn't say or do anything. Of course, she was already clued in. Boss says that I am working poor new girl too much, making her do most of the work. She says that she went by several times (When? I only saw her that once and if she was on the other side of the kitchen she couldn't see much) and that she hoped it would get better but never did. Poor new girl was just a working so hard and giving it all she had and me, I was just "slack and nonchalant." With these words, that she said over and over, she made motions and mimicked what I supposedly looked like. I usually don't bother but I did my best to defend myself because I am not "slack and nonchalant!" But of course, like I have said before, there is no arguing with her, once she has decided something, that is it, it doesn't matter if you have proof of your innocence, she ignores it all. New girls says, I don't mind doing over my part some, but I just can't do it all. I look at her and try to speak to her, I say that I'm sorry, I didn't realize there was a problem, if she needs me to do more, just ask, I don't mind. She would not meet my eye, would not even look in my direction, would not speak to me. Boss says that I should not expect to be told what to do, that I should have the initiative and know. I have been there 3 years, I know what my job is, and I haven't had this problem with anyone before. No, no, of course, I don't say that. I know from hearing about other "issues" that if you say anything like that, then you are accused of having an attitude with her. New girl says, well, I am off tomorrow, I can rest and maybe next time will be better. Boss says, I'm done with you, now I need to talk to Beth alone. New girl gets up, the whole mood changes right before my eyes, she starts chatting with the boss before she leaves, she is talking about how she needs to borrow a car, she is in need of a cigarette badly. Smoking is not allowed on the premises and her car had tore up that morning. The boss starts to offer hers but new girl didn't even know what it looked like or where it was so I offered mine. I guess in a pathetic attempt to show her that I am not some horrible inconsiderate person. Mine was easy to find and describe, I held out my keys. She still did not even look in my direction, didn't say anything to me, and gave a wave of her hand to me, like right, whatever. Then I had to sit there and listen to the boss grind into me some more. She kept on with those words and those cruel mimicking motions. "Slack and nonchalant." I still tried to defend myself. I simply ended it with something about, well, everyone works together differently (as the boss agreed) and maybe we just haven't got our flow or whatever going yet. And of course I agreed to do more. Of course I will. I would have to begin with. New girl has asked me to do things before, why couldn't she keep on? I haven't been disagreeable with her on anything and I certainly haven't said or did anything to make out like she couldn't talk to me, not that I'm aware of. I suppose what goes around comes around, I hate to be like that. I don't wish bad things on anyone. I may think them, I may say them, but I certainly don't mean them. There are 3 things that I and others have noted about her. If you help her with extra, like wrapping silverware, she doesn't ever say thank you. Before, I hadn't thought that much of it, I don't suppose I need gratitude to help someone, but now I'm thinking that she may not be all that grateful at all. She stacks her dishes when she sends them through the dishwasher. They can't get as clean this way and I'm surprised the boss hasn't noticed or said anything about this, she is so particular about those things anyway. She leaves to go smoke 15-20 minutes before break time. I don't really care, it's her business and it's not hurting me. Everyone has been waiting for the boss to catch her at that. And I am thinking that when she gets to endure the wrath of the boss, she might think twice about what she did to me. Or not. Who knows. I'm surprised she hasn't been told on by someone, we have tattletales galore in that kitchen. Maybe everyone has decided they don't want the "what goes around comes around" factor for themselves? Now what really gets me about this "issue" that came up is something else the boss said. Boss says, I have noticed that you have been this way for a while now. That would be, "slack and nonchalant." If that is the case, then why wasn't it mentioned on my evaluation just the other day? Why did she say that I didn't need improvement in any area of my work? Unless a while means like the day after my evaluation. Could be, I suppose. I can say I don't care all that I want to, but it's not true. I do care what people think of me. I care if they think I am "slack and nonchalant." If they think that I am inconsiderate and lazy or whatever else yesterday made out like I was. I am so glad that I have toughened up. I did not break in front of the boss. I kept my cool until I had went out to my car for supper break. I haven't cried so hard in a long time. They both really hurt my feelings. My friend and co-worker embraced me when I came back from break. I was so glad to have a friend there after all of that. She had already learned what happened. When new girl came back from her smoking break and went into the cafeteria to take the rest of her break with everyone else, she annouced that, I guess Beth is mad at me, I got her in trouble, but she was just working me to death! Damn right, I'm mad at her! What she did to me is inexcusable. If I was the boss I would have said, well, have you talked to her about it? If no, then hey, you need to talk to her about it first and see if you both can resolve the issue on your own. Don't people know how to do this anymore? Hurting someone in such a way should be a last resort. At least no one agreed with her when she announced all of that. My friend said everyone just stared at her, didn't say anything. New girl went on to explain how we were both doing the dishes, and good ole girl, she's good to me, she piped in and said, oh, well that's how me and so and so do it. Ya know, like yeah? And? New girl still didn't speak or look at me the rest of the day. I wonder if I am the only one, but it seems to me that the way she announced how she "got me into trouble but" was just like saying, I just did something totally wrong and I need an excuse for it. November seems so far away. If the Lord helps me to find a way out before then, I will so take it!

UPDATE: The next day new girl was called into work (remember, she was supposed to be off and resting from my slackness and nonchalantness) and I was actually kind of glad. I wanted to get that awkwardness out of the way, and go ahead and figure how it was going to be different. The boss wasn't even there so her opinion hasn't been heard yet, if it will be ever. A lot of the time you'll never hear about things like that again, even if they never change, which is fine by me. I avoid her the best I can. Anyways. I decided that I would switch places with new girl. That seemed like the best change we could make. It was odd, there weren't even any words exchanged to decide this. It just fell into place. I guess that's how badly she doesn't want to speak to me, she didn't even ask what was going on, just figured it out herself. So I took on the washing and doffing and she took on the washing and scrapping. Except it wasn't quite like that. I hate to be like this, but I bet she felt kind of stupid! I kept the sink empty, no problem. Every time I left to go doff, the sink was empty. Every time I got back it took me no time to get it empty. Previously, the sink was always at least half full. She didn't do any washing (there was never any for her to do!,) only scrapping. Sometimes I even did some scrapping because she was taking so long to get back with another caddy! So I have taken on most of the work and we got done 15 minutes earlier than our usual time. Even if I do have to work a bit more, I think I will prefer it this way. A big plus is that I don't get splashed so much. When she washes she sprays water everywhere, she doesn't use any control using the sprayer. Also, I know she has to be feeling a bit of regret because most everyone is mad at her for what she did to me. When I came behind my friend and co-worker to eat supper yesterday, I noticed how new girl was at one end of the table, with an empty seat in front of her but my friend went all the way down to the opposite end (even with new girl talking to my friend! And yes she talked back, she didn't ignore her, just refused to sit by her.) It's not funny but it is. You know. I'm not going to be mean or cruel to her in any way but I'm not going to go out of my way to be nice to her either. And do you know what I bet the boss would do with this information? With the fact that we switched places and I did most of the work and we got done faster and it wasn't such a big deal? She would have to come up with something, she can't be wrong! I would guess that she would say, well, you're young. I can hear that one coming! Well, I say that whether you're old or young or fat or thin or black or white or WHATEVER, if you can't do the job, then you need to find one you can.

-ladyworpledinker

There Are No Coincidences?

Our dryer is currently not drying. Robert drives me to work on the weekends, so today he did some laundry and brought it to dry at the laundromat after he picked me up from work. We bought some take-out and ate in the car outside once we had our stuff going. After Robert was done eating he played on his laptop outside the car mostly. I did a little bit of reading but mainly ended up watching the other people in the laundromat through the glass. There was a guy and what looked like compared to him, an older woman together. I didn't watch them too much, I felt something like a peeping tom. Let's just say that by their actions, I don't think it was his mom. There were also a couple of Mexican guys that weren't there long after we arrived. Then there was this guy by himself. The first thing I noticed about him was that he had one of those tote like bags on his back, the handles on his shoulders like book bag straps. I wasn't paying really close attention at first, his getting up and down just looked like waiting for laundry to be done. He was sitting down at one point and you know how sometimes you have like nervous energy and you pat your leg really fast? He was doing what seemed like a very hyped up version of that. If it wasn't July I would have thought he was shivering. Then he took his bag off his back and slowly starting going through it. It looked mostly like dirty or wet clothes. He pulled out the pockets of some pants, they were empty, and just put it all back in the bag. I wondered at first if something was wrong with him mentally? His actions just seemed so odd and I was seeing him from a distance. I also wondered if maybe he'd stolen the clothes? He would get up, stand around in a spot, walk back and forth, go outside for a minute, go back in, sit down, mess with his bag, get up, sit down, on and on, and he kept on with the nervous energy thing every time he sat down. When he came outside is when I noticed how dirty he was, his clothes and bag looked like they had dirt all over them. I asked Robert if he'd heard him say anything or seen him do anything odd, if he thought anything was up with the guy. He said he was probably just waiting on some clothes. I didn't think so and I couldn't see any clothes washing or drying near where he kept sitting. He came outside once while Robert was talking to me and he added, well baby, he's probably homeless. He wasn't starving anyway, he had a bit of a belly on him. I kept watching him. I wondered if he was hoping someone would leave some change lying around? I wondered why he was so fidgety and couldn't keep still. I wondered if his clothes needed to be washed but he didn't have the money? I wondered what his story was, why he was there, what he was doing, what he was waiting for? As Robert loaded up the clothes to go, the guy came out and kept going instead of standing and then going back inside, I guess he was finally leaving. As Robert got in the car I blurted, I just wonder if he needs some money or something. Robert was like, do you want to give him some? I've never done anything like this before so I was just like, well, if you want to, if you think we should, I just feel bad for him, what if he needs something? Robert told me to get him the money out of the dash. I am glad we had it, we don't have cash often. It was a $5 and some dollar bills. He pulled up along side of him and motioned for him. The guy came over and Robert asked him if he needed a helping hand and held the money out. The guy said, I could really use it and then he added that his wallet had been stolen. I don't know what it was but it almost brought me to tears to hear him say that. He said thanks and Robert said something about getting something to eat and he said thanks again and that was that. I'm not trying to brag about this, ooh, I did a good deed. It's just that this kind of thing has never come up before, I've never done anything like it, and I know I'll be thinking about this guy, this stranger for days. Is he okay? Is he going to find some help? Did he really need it? I think he did but you never know. I know that there are instances where people are just being greedy and taking advantage of people who want to help. If you've never heard Robert's story about the guy who asked him for some money you should ask him about it sometime. I have to wonder if our dryer isn't working for a reason, you know? I hear stories all the time, have read them in my e-mail but don't know that anything has ever happened to me specifically that way, that I'm aware of. They say there are no coincidences, there is only God and I think I do believe it. I do want to make a difference in this world and I do hope that this evening meant something to this person, whether it was just the money he needed or to know that there are some people that care out there. And of course this reminds me of how lucky I really am. Excuse me, blessed. That's why I get so upset with myself sometimes when I get so depressed about what really, in the end, amounts to nothing. Things, it's all stuff! Well I mean, sure, some of it is important. Money could mean more time with the people I love. But I think you get what I'm saying. I want a new house. I want a new car. I want to quit my job. I want some new rubber ducks. I want this, I want that. Please! My current house is nice and huge and some people just need some shelter! And there are probably a lot of people who would love to have my job, not only is it a job, it's a stable job with good benefits and hey, you get to eat for free! And as far as ducks go, hey, yes, we have debt and we don't have money to spend left and right, but when I want something, I usually get it, and that's a huge bonus kind of blessing. I try my darndest not to take all these things for granted, it's so easy to, and it's so easy to just complain about petty things, and I always feel really good but really bad at the same time, when I get reminded of all my many many blessings. So, I'd like to ask you to say a prayer for this stranger that we came across tonight, if you don't mind. Maybe you can throw in a few strangers of your own, someone you saw in the grocery line that had to put some things back, someone you saw that was getting bullied by someone, you could even pray for the bully. Did you see any strangers today that caught your attention? You're reading this now and there are no coincidences. Right?

-ladyworpledinker

I Won't Fake It

I've been sick 2 times in 3 years. I've always called when I was going to be late, which were only due to car troubles and traffic jams. And I still came in after, I'll say almost, crashing my car that time, because I was asked to. So when you mark off the above, which is very little in my opinion, I am always there when I'm supposed to be and I am always on time. I do not cause trouble, I do not argue, I do not complain. This complaining doesn't count, I'm not on the clock. I do put down any scheduled time off I want/need in the book two weeks prior to the occasion. I do what I am asked. I am courteous, I am respectful, I am an ideal worker. Yet, my birthday wish eluded me. It hasn't been a thing I've constantly wanted in these 3 years, just more recently something I've considered that I could quite possibly get and have come to hope for and want to receive. My birthday is at the beginning of the month and I thought to myself, hey, they haven't announced the new employee of the month yet. Maybe on my birthday they'll finally give it to me! I was very excited about the whole idea, even though it was a little far fetched. The employee of the month is not only given to those in my department, but throughout the whole building of staff. Obviously, I went home on my birthday without the employee of the month award. The very next day I found out that one of my co-worker's had received the award. It might not have been such a big let down to me if someone somewhere else in the building had received it, you know, someone from another department, but someone right there working with me? Oh yeah, and there's the fact that she's only worked there 1 year. I am not saying that she is not employee of the month material. She is very good with residents and she's very sociable. She does her job and she does it well. I was very shocked to hear what she doesn't do just the other day though. We have a lot of team players in our department as well as having a lot of non team players. I am a helper, I like to help others when I have the chance. There are certain things that I always help with when I work. They are not in my job description but I have nothing else to do at that time and there's no reason to just stand around or go sit down at that time. Helping someone else speeds along the whole process for everyone. She does help sometimes, not excessively, but she does. She does my shift when I'm not working sometimes though and I was told that she doesn't help in any of the ways I do, at all. She either stands around waiting to be able to do her next set of things or she goes into the office and talks on the phone the whole time. This is like half an hour or more, it depends. Oh yes, and she does talk on the phone a lot. Actually, this morning she was on the phone most of the first hour she came into work. Like I said though, she is very sociable. She strikes up conversations with people all the time, including the boss, who I believe is one who helps choose employee of the month. If you know me and I mean really know me, you know that I don't just strike up conversations, at least not with people I don't know really well. I can be shy and people label me as a quiet person, although my mother and my husband tend to disagree. I am very observant around other people and I've realized during this time at work that everyone seems to start most conversations by bringing private matters up, just like that. I just don't do that. If someone talks to me I converse back with them. I certainly don't mind, I do like to talk. What I'm getting at is what I believe to be the reason why I have not been given employee of the month and never will. I'm not a social butterfly, as some may call it. I mostly stay to myself and I listen a lot more than I talk. It's not like I'm some scared little zombie walking around in there though. I greet people, I'm civil, I smile, I converse if someone converses with me. This is just how I am. Sure, I could change. But that would mean faking it. I am not being what someone else would rather me be. I couldn't count the times someone has laughed and asked if I were always so quiet and then preceded to say they would like to take me out and get me drunk so I would talk. That really irritates me. If you want me to talk, how about talking to me? It seems like a good and simple place to start! How about I'm not so quiet? How about all of them are just too loud and need to shut up sometimes!? My reason for believing this is why I can never win employee of the month is not something I can easily explain, you would have to know my boss and there is certainly no explaining her. I can just imagine what she would say if I asked her why I haven't received the award. It would be something along the lines of I'm not outgoing enough, which would all translate into the fact that I'm not super talkative and don't spill my guts to co-workers and strangers. I also believe the generation gap has something to do with it cause one of my other co-workers has been working there about 2 years and she is an amazing worker and hasn't received employee of the month. We are the youngest two there, I'm the baby. It seems because we don't have things to schmooze about with the boss, it makes us not worthy of much of anything special in the boss's eyes. It actually really hurts my feelings. I have struggled really hard with loving myself growing up. I used to always feel so inferior to other people, I was brutally emotionally abused, especially by my peers. I can't seem to remember a great deal of my childhood and I believe the hard times I had to be part of it. I still can't seem to find a place to really fit in after all of that and the growing up and learning I have done so far. I guess I don't need to feel that I fit in as much as I would like to feel I am accepted. If I can't have the employee of the month award for being me then I suppose I don't really want it. I won't fake it! I know my childhood doesn't have much to do with work, I'm not playing the blame game or anything, I know that whatever happens to me, what my actions and choices are, are what matters most in the end. That just got mixed in somehow. I needed to vent about this badly. Oh, I could go on about work for so long! But...I have better things to do! :o)

NOTE: The co-worker that I mentioned as being an amazing worker for 2 years and not receiving employee of the month...well, she finally got it! For the month of July. I'm surprised that they chose someone from the same department twice in a row. I'm very happy for her! She has deserved it for a long time! YAY!

-ladyworpledinker

Appreciation

So my boss isn’t exactly my favorite person. That’s quite often the case, I hear. I work in a nursing center. We (as in me and my co-workers, etc) constantly hear how great our facility is, in all aspects. It doesn’t smell, it’s clean, the people are friendly and helpful. Specifically, I work in the kitchen. We’re always hearing that our kitchen is so clean and organized and that our food is so tasty. I, for one, would think that with all the "oohs" and "ahhs" we get, the boss would be very proud of us. Maybe she is but she does not treat us so. Sure, we’ve had meetings where she’s said as much, about how great a job we’ve done, but when it comes to speaking to us daily, according to her, we never stop messing up. I say it’s okay to keep us on our toes, it’s okay to suggest a new way of doing something. But it is not okay to put us down all the time and in any way possible. If she has to stretch the truth a little bit to be able to say you’ve done wrong or if she has to just disagree even if it’s not something that can actually be disagreed with and it be true, she will. She will not listen and she will not be made wrong herself. I could give you so many examples. I will give a few. I come in after stock has come and usually most or all of it is put away. I put away what is left and I take all the cardboard and mess out to the dumpster. One day I came in and did just that. My boss called me into her office. She asked me what I do when I get there on stock days. I told her. She almost interrupted me saying that to argue with me. She said, oh no! When you come in you put up the the leftover stock! In my head, I thought, what?! That’s what I just said! You don’t argue with her though! It turns out that there was some that was taken out in the hallway to be put away into the chemical room and I wasn’t aware. By the way, I was tattled on, we’ve got tattletales galore if you need one. If they see that you haven’t done something you’re supposed to, even if it’s a possibility that you just haven’t gotten to it yet, they go straight to the boss. It really keeps you on your toes, you definitely want to be aware of every little thing. There was also this time that she had been especially hard on me for a while after someone had tattled on me saying that I didn’t clean my floors well, among other things, lies, for example, that I disappeared before my break in the evenings everyday and no one knew where I was at. Everyone knows where I used to go on my break, to my car to read my books. One day I had just came in and I went into the stockroom for bread bags. As I went in she came out of her office, they are like straight across from each other. She followed me in there practically yelling, Beth! Are you okay today? Is something wrong? She acted as if I had been avoiding her or ignoring her. I was just like, um, no, I’m okay, I came to get some bread bags. And then she fussed at me again for some previous matter, talking about if I couldn’t do better, it’d go on my evaluation, told me she’d be checking in with me in three weeks. She never did by the way, if she says she will take care of something at a later time she never gets to it, no matter what it is, so if it’s important you better be prepared to hound her which isn’t fun as I’m sure you could imagine. Another time we were all sitting eating, taking our supper break. There is a door to the right of the table where people can come in and out of the courtyard. Here she came, the door was locked. Everyone looked up to see who was knocking. Note: I was farther down the table, not closest to the door. A co-worker who was already up said she’d get it and went. My boss came in, came straight to me, and said, why did you look at me and then look away? Everyone’s mouths dropped, mine included. I stuttered I was so shocked, and told her that so and so was already up to get it. She just kind of looked at me in a horrible manner and left. That is one of the craziest things that she’s ever done to me, it made no sense to single me out like I had done something wrong. And here we are getting to my point of this whole thing. The other day we were short staffed, a co-worker called in. It turned out to be one of those especially busy days, where we have countless visitors coming through the lunch line and we can barely keep enough dishes washed to serve everyone. I took a phone call. A resident wanted soup and sandwich to go with their meal. Right, I’ll get to it, I thought. I take phone calls like that all the time and I do usually get to it but it was so busy I completely forgot all about it. My boss came to me after our own lunch and asked me about it, I explained and she didn’t seem too mad at me and suggested that I should have told someone else since I was busy, which would have been impossible, everyone else was just as busy, that’s why I didn’t do it right away, I couldn’t leave! Of course, I just apologized profusely and nodded and all, like I said, don’t argue with her, or even make your own suggestions! Okay, later I took another phone call. This one was from a resident that always calls and orders her meals from our menu because she has so many food allergies and it’s hard to keep it straight as to what and how much of what she can have. There is a pad of paper by the phone to write this particular thing down on. I did so. Later I came back to the phone and it was gone. No one knew where it went. Well, someone did something with it! No matter though, because I remembered what she told me and I told the cook. Right before our back line started I was trying my best to complete an order from one of the halls. I hardly know how to do it but we’d been short and whoever was supposed to do it hadn’t done it and they had called and complained (they were very rude as well.) You don’t see me tattling! Believe me though, if the right person had taken that phone call someone would have been in the office. I just tried to take care of it and I did. But as I was doing that a co-worker called out to me, where is the list for so and so resident? I called back that I wrote it down but later it was gone and as I was getting ready to say that I remember what she ordered so it’s no biggie, my boss came out of her office to tear me down. She said to me, then I needed to march straight down to the resident’s room and ask her what it was she ordered. She said to me that that was the second phone call that day I’d taken that I had screwed up on. The first call I could understand. But this one? No, I didn’t do anything wrong. No one noticed but I cried as I finished that order, I couldn’t help it. I try so hard to please my boss and everyone else there. I want to be known as a good worker. I know that I’m a good worker and I know that I deserve more. Not that it’s all I’m seeking, but I see some people that get the employee of the month and I wonder what it is I do or don’t do that I can’t receive it. Some of these people work hard, sure, but they have terrible attitudes and I know I don’t! I never complain, I always do what I’m told, I never call in, I’m always on time, and I don’t tattle even if it’s well deserved, I just do what needs to be done and ignore the drama! I went home depressed and talked to my husband about how unappreciated my boss made me feel and others. Actually, some of my exact words were, I just want to cry for a few days and eat a whole lot of chocolate. The very next day, I was back and forth, left and right, trying to give everyone service out on the line at supper. There is a woman, a nurse I suppose she is, that comes through fairly often. I don’t even know her name. She is slim, dark haired, and beautiful. She’s so friendly to everyone, she’s always cheerful. I say all this because there are so many that don’t smile and aren’t friendly. And she always wants a 12 ounce cup of fruit. So I passed that over to her and she passed me a dollar and said something about a tip. I kept hold of it, thinking she was joking, and went down to the end to ring up her meal at the register. I straightened out the dollar ready to use for her total. She said, no, no, that’s yours! I was astonished. I tried to give it back but she wouldn’t take it. I was like, are you sure? Why? She said because I want to! You work hard, you deserve it. I thanked her and told her my husband would think that was definitely something, I got a tip, of all things, a tip! You don’t normally get tips working in the kitchen at a nursing center! Later that night I thought to myself, oh God, thank You! I think it was His way of saying, Beth, don’t despair, you are appreciated. My tip for you? Trust in God with all your heart.

-ladyworpledinker